- Know someone well
- Don’t want to say the wrong thing
- Feel intimidated or awestruck
- Are feeling self-conscious
Being willing and able to talk to people is the centerpiece of a successful career and profitable business.
We need to develop the ability to talk to all kinds of people under wildly different circumstances in an effective way.
It can be difficult to start conversations with a boss, coworker, or customer who isn’t particularly willing or interested in talking with you. That’s when you need to break the ice.
It would be easy to just blow off folks that don’t want to talk. We might think it’s their loss, when, in fact, it’s more likely ours.
When we get people to talk to us, we learn things. Often what we learn is unexpected—an inside look, a new perspective, an opportunity, or a tip.
This week I had errands to run, so I made the rounds. Since I live in the country, I patronize local businesses. At each stop, I made a point to start a casual conversation with whoever was at the counter.
Here’s what happened:
At the feed mill, I chit-chatted with the clerk about how my horse had a breathing disorder exacerbated by the pollen. She owned horses too and told me about a new dustless bedding product which I then bought. (Learned something new)
Then I went to the butcher shop. The butcher’s wife, Susan, who works the counter, is generally cold and standoffish. The customer before me was a native Italian who owned the local pizzeria. He purchased three spleens. (Yep, spleens!) When he left, I asked Susan what anyone would use a spleen for and she answered, “I don’t know and I don’t want to know!” We had a good laugh. (Warmer relationship)
The next stop was the bank. While the teller was doing the paperwork, I asked what was new in the neighborhood. She explained how several local teenagers had been apprehended after a series of robberies. She gave me details on the sting that nabbed them, information that wasn’t in the paper. (Insider information)
Ice can refreeze, so our initiatives to keep the ice open need to be ongoing.
Think of the people you work with who try to keep you at arms length or are uncomfortable sharing their knowledge, points of view, or personal side.
You do yourself and others a huge favor by making it easy for them to talk to you. It’s how you build bonds.
These conversations help you figure out what’s really going on around you. By being an ice breaker, you discover that you will:
- Build a broader base of relationships
- See things from different sides
- Get a heads up when you need it
- Feel gratitude and appreciation for and from your coworkers
Early in my corporate career, I worked in marketing where I needed to procure a truck and a 32-foot trailer outfitted with interactive displays. Working with the purchasing department required jumping through a lot of procedural hoops held by agents being chomped on by managers across the company.
To purchasing, my project was small potatoes and I was a nobody. Russ was the agent assigned to handle my purchase, and I suspected this wasn’t something he was keen on. I asked to meet with him, so I could better understand what he was up against and what I could do to make it easier for him. That ice-breaker conversation created in an ally I could count on for the rest of my career there.
Take the time
The avenue of least resistance can turn into the highway to nowhere. Everyone has something of value to say. We just need to take the time to break the ice that’s in their way and ours. Now flourish your ice picks!
Photo from elefevre7 via Flickr